Joan Rivers: She’s Still Got It!
At 75 years old, Joan Rivers works tirelessly everyday. To call her a work-aholic is an understatement and she hops red-eye flights to get to all of her many gigs with a smile on her face and a joke up her sleeve. In her fascinating documentary, “Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work,” which opens June 11, she lets moviegoers experience her life – from her past as a co-host of “The Tonight Show” with Johnny Carson to her husband’s death, having a grandson and even inside her ornate apartment – all while she continues to pound the pavement, practicing comedy and entertaining audiences.
When she burst into the hotel room in New York City for her interview with www.CelebrityEverything.com and others, she glanced around her surroundings. When asked what she though the hotel needed in terms of decorating, she said, “A major re-do!” That’s Joan – quick with a riff, gutsy and downright hilarious. The film is entertaining from beginning to end, just like she is in real life.
Q: Joan, how do you feel about these reality people getting instant fame?
Joan: They better enjoy it. I think a lot of them don’t get it. It’s five minutes of fame. And the ones that are complaining – we hear on the red carpet that this one gave them trouble and that one demanded this – you want to say, ‘You stupid ass. You are a lucky person. Enjoy it now because five years from now, no one is going to give a damn about you.’
Q: What is your secret to longevity?
J: Do anything! I’m only an actor? Excuse me? If you love the business, you’re in the business. Do what you have to do. I’ll do anything, as I say in the movie and I mean it. My jewelry business, I mean, everyone was laughing at television shopping when I was approached by QVC and I said, ‘Sure let’s try it!’ And it turned into a legacy for me.
Q: Have you ever turned anything down?
J: Nothing. Looking back, maybe I turned down a script that was terrible, but it was very seldom.
Q: Is there something you still want to do in the business?
J: I have my own website (www.JoanRivers.com) and do my blog, but I would love to do another late night talk show, but it will never be offered to me because they look at you as a 10-year plan of time. And they look at me and say, ‘God knows where she’ll be in 10 years.’ They look at me as Joan Rivers – she’s been funny for 40 years. If I came in as Harriet Schwartz, a housewife from Long Island, the world would be open to me. But I’m not. But Betty White is giving me hope. If she dies now it’s really going to fuck me. I am so nervous I’m sending her vitamins!
Q: What’s your take on the controversy with Miss America?
J: What because she was pole dancer? Oh, so what! All of us have danced on a pole at one time. But as for being an Arab American, that’s fine. I want everyone to live in peace. But I don’t want to hear you’re here and out to get me. But I don’t think she’s a Muslim – her mother was in a dress that was so cut down, I could tell you what color her underwear was. They were having a good time – even the ones that lost. They were crying in their bikinis backstage stuffing their faces with brownies because they could finally eat!
Q: You’re often refereed to as a pioneer. Do you still see yourself as a pioneer?
J: I never thought of myself as a pioneer but I’m always the first to talk about everything. I’m still on stage and saying more than anyone else. I like the word ‘current’ but my manager calls it ‘relevant.’
Q: Why would you say Jews are funny?
J: Look at us! Have you seen my relatives? You’ll laugh. But look at the great comics – they’re not Jews: Chris Rock, Robin Williams, George Carlin – but Jewish humor is hilarious. For example, ‘What happened to you?’ is a Jewish compliment.
Q: This movie is very complimentary of you – how do you feel about that?
J: I wanted them (the directors, Ricki Stern and Anne Sundberg) to tell the truth and make the statement of stop whining and get on with your life. And I wanted to make the statement of how horrible age is. You’re all going to come up to that mountain and it sucks. You can’t turn the mountain around. It was the directors’ choice of what they picked.
Q: Was the archival footage interesting for you to watch, including the scene with Johnny Carson?
J: I love what they found because I hadn’t seen any of that stuff. Johnny Carson was the best straight man in the business, the best appreciator. When he would lean back in his chair and laugh it made me so happy.
Q: What else makes you happy?
J: All the things that make us all happy. If my family is happy, it makes me happy. My apartment is great and I have great friends and I know I’m happy because I’ve been through lousy, shitty times.
Q: Speaking of your apartment, you’ve had it listed for sale. If you love it so much, why list it?
J: My accountant says I’m living too high and that I have to unload my apartment. So I put a price on it that no one except a stupid Russian would pay for it or that guy who bought the Nets.
Q: Your catch phrase – Can we talk about this? – where did it come from – something specific or generic?
J: It just came out about telling the truth to the audience. Like when Michael Jackson died and the whole world went into mourning. He was a druggie and a pedophile, I mean can we talk about this? Would you let your child stay overnight with him? That’s where it comes from.
Q: What are your thoughts on gay marriage?
J: Gay marriage – why are you that stupid? That means gay divorce. Get married! It’s only going to cause you problems.
Q: Who pisses you off these days?
J: Everybody! I hate Sanjay Gupta – he’s always talking. Just to read a medical book or do medical things – change a bandage! Brett Michaels is pissing me off too because I never saw a person in Intensive Care with a fancy bandana. Who was the doctor? It must have been Sanjay Gupta!
Q: Speaking of Brett – are you glad he won?
J: I think Holly [Robinson Peete] should have won, but she didn’t have a shot. The man came back from the dead and risked his life to be on ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ and then risked his life the next day to be on ‘Regis and Kelly’ and again and again – this man is very brave!
Q: What do you think of Heidi Montag and the backlash she got for her plastic surgery?
J: America is all about beautiful women looking good. Good for her. I was VERY upset I didn’t know the doctor who would do 10 procedures at one time (laughs)!
Q: As a New Yorker, are you a fan of “Sex and the City”?
J: I loved ‘SATC’ on television, but the girls have to be careful, because if they do one more, it’s going to be ‘Sag in the City.’ Oh, there go four more friends (laughs)!
Q: You’re a business woman and a mom – what’s the most important, being a performer or your relationship with your daughter?
J: The truth 50/50. If I had to choose, there wouldn’t be anything to discuss. But my career is my life. My daughter is on her own and my grandson is fine and thank you God for all this. But what sustains me is getting up in the morning and [working].
Q: Did you ever think ‘this has been so much work, it wasn’t worth it’; maybe I should have been a comic writer’?
J: Oh no! It’s been so fun to do so many different things! It’s all good.
Q: Would you do red carpet reporting the next day?
J: They have asked, but it’s so hard saying, ‘Oh you’ve never looked better!’ And then the next day, ‘What did you think of so-and-so’s dress?’ ‘Oh, it was horrible. She shouldn’t have worn that.’ It’s horrible, but now we just do the fashion police the next day so you can be more truthful.
Q: Do you have any regrets?
J: You know what I have regrets about – who I didn’t sleep with! Remember this women…and men. That would be Robert Michem, Robert Ryan – a whole list of guys. I look back and say, ‘Fuck, I should have done them.’ But that’s what I didn’t do (laughs). But someone once said, ‘You only regret things you didn’t do. I don’t regret anything I’ve done, because I’ve done it and tried it.
